Thursday, April 12, 2018


Do you like strangers invading your home and making invasive question? Any "happy" memories in your childhood ready to bubble to the surface and make you miserable? Have I got good news for you!

After training comes home studies. Depending on the number of people in your home that are being interviewed there will be approximately three home studies each being no more than 3 hours.

Previously you would have filled out a SAFE questionnaire. That's fun questions asking about your relationship with your parents (good, improving, horrible, etc), with your significant other, and any potential traumas you would have had in the past (death of loved one, abuse, etc). Now your home study worker will dig into your answers and probably make you cry.

You're given a second questionnaire to fill out in the second meeting. And they're going to quiz you on your answers again. Try to cry less. These are questions like have you ever been abused, have you ever done illegal drugs, has anyone in your family ever done illegal drugs...

The third and hopefully final meeting deals with the financial report that you filled out. Hopefully there's no crying. (There might be.) It's a very basic overview of your finances but didn't talk about how I plan to support a child on my income which I found odd. You'll also be asked any questions that might have been missed or might need expanding upon. Would have much preferred to talk about finances.

If you are part of a couple applying to adopt you will have question portions done together and also separately. I believe any children in the home also get interviewed.

All this is compiled by your home study worker into a booklet that is given to your social worker and any potential children's social workers to sum up you and your life. The report takes about a month to do up, then it goes to a co-worker type person and then on to your social worker for a couple weeks and then finally on to you.

The home studies themselves can happen quite quickly in a row. I had my first on a Sunday and the following Saturday was my second. When I tried to schedule my third for approximately a month later due to personal reasons I was told that was too big of a gap and that we should try to get it done sooner.

Tips / Thoughts:

  • Have tissue handy
  • A copy of your paperwork in front of you may make you more comfortable as a reference point
  • Know they're gonna ask you personal questions
    • Like how often you watch porn
    • Or how often you have sex
  • Share stories in which you handled stress well
    • Like traveling in London during bombings
    • Should have shared that earlier
  • Keep the tissues handy
  • Have a resume handy
    • Why do they need to know all the jobs I've worked and the years?
  • Recognize that while the person is just doing their job you're probably gonna want to yell at them
    • Don't yell that them
    • That doesn't show handling stress well
  • Previous research told me prior therapy would be a negative mark against you but they seem to really like therapy
    • Maybe that's just me...
  • If you have a large age range be prepared for confusing generalized questions
    • "How would you discuss adoption?" Well, how old are they?
    • Maybe have a general phrase ready "Discussions would be based on knowledge, age, blah blah blah"
  • Research adoption and foster care
    • But not too much?
    • My research seems like a negative mark against me somehow
  • I don't know if she forgets my answers or is trying to catch me in a lie
    • I don't know why some of my answers are shocking
    • Not every woman wants to be pregnant thanks

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