Session 5: Understanding and Parenting the New Child in Your HomeWe did a trust exercise where we wrote out a secret we hadn't told anyone, placed it in an envelope and handed it to someone else. How did we feel? What kind of thoughts did we have? I said that I had given a "tester" secret and it was said that children often do this as well. It's a test to see how you react and to see if you can be trusted in a bigger secret later.
We wrote down things that you do or do differently when you have to deal with someone you don't trust.
Some we came up with were: watch the more or supervise, limit info and emotions, assume the worst, and remain in control.
Other questions that we were asked to think about:
- What would the person you have not trusted have to do to regain your trust?
- What is the difference between adults and children when they are dealing with someone they don't trust?
- What things should parents do if they're trying to develop trust?
Is a behavior a misbehavior if it has been the only way that a child has learned to cope and survive in the environment in which they have been living?
Is a behavior and misbehavior if the child's brain is not capable of understanding what behavioral responses are expected of him?
Is a behavior of misbehavior if there has been a strategy to help a child make it through a day?
Session 6: The Challenges of the Journey: Parenting Plus
This is a very thick booklet that has 99 pages. 82 to 86 list normal behaviors that may be annoying (by age group) and then after that 87 on wards is a book list and bibliography.
There is a section on minimizing the possibility of child allegations. We had been told previously that with foster care it's not a matter of if there's an allegation but when. One of the key points that was made was to write everything down. Even if nothing happened that day right down that nothing happened. Not only can a potentially protect the caregiver from allegations but it can also track a history of the child if they potentially need more services or if a case worker asks questions. There is a daily log I'd that you can use however it was suggested that a notebook for each individual child used make sure the papers cannot be easily removed and also have the pages numbered so that no one can say that pages have been removed or that no one can remove pages.
There's steps on how to respond when a child discloses abuse.
Many pages are dedicated to sexual assault and abuse.
Session 7: Indigenous People: A Brief IntroductionThe original host of this was unable to attend but a Indigenous couple in our group was willing and able to share some of their life experiences and also the slideshow that we looked at. It was very interesting partially because I know next to nothing about Indigenous culture and because text book readings miss the personal experiences.
Section 8 was supposed to be a panel of foster care providers workers but they were unable to arrange that in December but during our sessions we had different co-host who shared their insights.