Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Dreaming of Kids

I continue to look up info on adoption and to look at the waiting children website.

The waiting children website has a little blurb about each child. They enjoy legos, camping, like animals... There's some adorable kids out there.

I can't help but think of what I could do with a kid. We'd read, do crafts... will I follow through with my hopes of bilingualism? Then I imagine taking them to Paris, my planned 2020 trip. I could show them lovely things I've seen and could see so much more with them. Gardens, art, and castles!

Then I get worried. What if they're older/younger and they don't like this or that? I stress over children I don't have enjoying a trip 4ish years down the road and call myself silly. Then I worry about adopting. How long will I wait? Will I have them in time to take to Paris? What if I don't get matched for a long time and we can't adjust to each other before the trip? What if I'm matched before the trip but can't take them? ... What if I'm not matched for years and years?

I depress myself before I've done anything. I won't start any paperwork until 2017 and I already worry. I should stop looking at adoption stuff but I can't.

Has anyone adopted from Canadian foster care? Did you feel like the wait would crush you? How long did you wait? Does anyone else torture themselves with thoughts of the future?